WORKERS at a driving test centre were stunned when an Albanian man told them eating British food had changed his appearance – including the shape of his ears. Lefter Duka, 33, had booked in for a driving theory test but the man who turned up at the reception desk looked nothing like the picture on his provisional licence. He was shorter, stockier and more bearded than Mr Duka – but insisted it was his diet that had altered his look. The real Lefter Duka, from Gloucester, was then prosecuted when he turned up for a driving test himself. Paula Davies, a test centre administrator told magistrates in Gloucester: “We brought up the point that he didn’t look like the photo on the licence and he said that the food here had made him put on weight compared with where he was from. “We said that his ears were different and he said the same thing – that the food was at fault. “We said his eyebrows were much bigger on the photo and he said he had shaved them.” Staff were not satisfied that the man was Mr Duka and they refused to let him take the test. More
(AD Remarks ~ So there really is no truth in the myth that you are what you eat!)

Fed up with neighbours parking outside his house, Paul Syrett decided he had to draw the line somewhere. So he did – in bright yellow, right outside his property. After dark, the parish councillor set to work with his paint brush, marking out two parking bays to deter motorists from encroaching on his territory. And while taking the law into his own hands attracted the wrath of the local authority, they have apparently surrendered in the face of his refusal to remove the lines, admitting it is not worth wasting taxpayers’ money. Neighbours yesterday expressed outrage at the decision, branding it ‘completely unfair’ on the road’s other residents. Sandie Mills, 42, who has lived opposite Mr Syrett for four years, said: ‘As soon as I moved in he made it clear that those spaces belonged to him. ‘I took him at his word because he seemed so sure. ‘It was only after he painted the lines that I looked into it and was assured by Gloucestershire Highways that they were illegal.’ More
(AD Remarks ~ Perhaps an elected offical should be setting an better example to everyone. Might well be a vote voser for him!)

All afternoon he had listened to the thwack of leather on willow from his garden beside the village green. But when the fifth ball crashed against his window, Neil Cutts decided it just wasn’t cricket. The enraged 38-year-old software engineer leapt into his 4×4 and drove it on to the pitch, scattering players and sending spectators running for cover. Then he parked it in front of the wicket – and refused to move until he got an apology. Astonished officials were forced to abandon the match and ask Mr Cutts to remove his Toyota Rav4 from their freshly mown strip. Eventually the players – who posed for photos with the unlikely addition to the pitch – apologised, and the father of two removed his car. But yesterday the remarkable saga was the talk of the the village of St Helens on the Isle of Wight. More
(AD Remarks ~ Lucky he had a 4×4, wonder if this is the first time it`s been `off road?)

A HALLOWEEN style plastic arm sparked a major police operation off the M62, disrupting thousands of motorists. The drama, complete with a helicopter and police dogs, was caused by a joke shop forearm with fake blood. Today police said it may have even fallen from a passing lorry or car. The saga began when members of the public reported seeing a severed arm lying on an exit sliproad, prompting police to scramble the force helicopter. The slip road approaching Tarbock island at junction 6 was shut down for several hours while scientific support officers scoured the verge with police dogs while the chopper roared over head. Initial reports suggested the police were hunting for a city villain, but by late afternoon rumours began to circulate that a severed arm was the cause of the incident. Eyewitnesses at the scene reported chaos as members of the public wandered around in the road and police cars lined up at the traffic island. More
(AD Remarks ~ It was all quite armless in the end!)

Riding home on his mobility scooter at less than 4 mph, Eamonn Donohoe wasn’t going anywhere in a hurry and didn’t appear to be a menace to pedestrians. But when the drunken Irishman ignored a policeman’s attempt to flag him down, the local constabulary decided to take no chances. As Mr Donohoe, 62, was trundling along the pavement near his sheltered bungalow he found himself surrounded by eight police officers and three marked vehicles. One patrol car mounted the kerb to block his way and after failing a roadside breath test the disabled grandfather was locked in police cells for 12 hours, fingerprinted, photographed and had a DNA swab taken. Mr Donohoe, who had drunk six or seven pints during an evening playing dominoes with friends at a local club, was three times over the limit. He later admitted driving a mechanically propelled vehicle whilst over the limit on 20th April and was given a three year driving ban by magistrates at Chesterfield. However, despite the nature of the offence he is legally free to continue riding his scooter. But the bizarre episode has left the retired construction worker from Old Whittington, Chesterfield, feeling disillusioned with the forces of law and order. He said:’I can’t believe how they treated me – anybody would think that I was a bank robber or a member of Al-Qaeda. ‘The police are always saying they’re short of resources, and then go and employ eight officers arresting someone like me. It’s completely mad, and a total waste of public money. More
(AD Suggests ~ Perhaps the Police man power could be better used in other areas!)

Animal lovers in Oxfordshire keen to protect foxes from speeding motorists have combined the traditional road sign with a bit of cheeky humour to get their point across. The unique new sign was installed on a rural road between Wheatley and Waterperry and reads “For fox sake slow down”. More
(AD Suggests ~ It won`t be long before some jobsworth has these removed as its not offical. Until the foxes get an easier life!)

Officers believe building their new five-gear vehicle, which has a top speed of 20 miles per hour, will help combat anti-social behaviour. The white car cost over £1,000, has full Hampshire Constabulary livery and a roll bar to protect the driver in the event of a crash. However, police admit that even if they are pedalling furiously they are unlikely to be able to apprehend anyone other than “those with a zimmer frame”. The car will be entered into the British Pedal Car Grand Prix on July 11 in Ringwood, Hants. PC Keith Waller, who will pilot the vehicle, spent 40 hours painstakingly building the replica car with children aged 13 to 16 at Ringwood Comprehensive School. He insisted that getting involved with the project allowed police to show their “fun side” and made them look “cooler” and “more approachable”. More
(AD Suggests ~ Useful to apprehend those slow moving suspects!)

They are often the bane of many people’s journeys, but today Norwich’s bus drivers and driving instructors were on a collision course amid claims learners are causing delays on key city routes. A Norwich transport group, whose members include bus drivers, has submitted an official complaint that learners carrying out manoeuvres in an estate close to the city are slowing them up on a key route to the hospital. The Norwich and Norfolk Transport Action Group claims the number 24 First bus service which serves Thorpe St Andrew and the Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital has been affected by learner drivers using roads in the area to practice their skills. However, today driving instructors hit back at the claims, arguing the delays were no different to having to wait at a set of traffic lights. The bizarre row is unlikely to strike much of a chord with Norwich drivers, used to having to wait behind not just learner drivers, but buses too. More
(AD Suggests ~ There are lots of vehicles that need to share the road, we just need to get on with it.)

Pranksters put up the official looking notice on the Cirencester bypass at Birdlip, near Gloucester, pointing towards the Barrow Wake viewpoint – which has gained a reputation for public sexual activity. David Parkinson, a resident who ripped the sign down, said that the site’s repuation had made it a “no-go zone” for local people. The reputation of this area does tend to make the lives of local residents impossible,” he said. “The viewpoint itself is one of the best in the area, giving fantastic views across Gloucestershire. More
(AD Comments ~ Perhaps this publicity has just brought more attention to the place!)